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English polemicist Hobbes,
Took to bigamy in between jobs,
“I’d do less perspiring
And much more inspiring
If I had me four balls and two knobs.”
We’ve reached that bloodshot, coke-addled point in the political polemic when the Carnival of Assholes has become functionally unbearable. Last night the hours between 2.30 and 4.15 were spent gazing at the ceiling like Munch’s The Scream, sleeplessly contemplating the horror of being governed by a giant, bloated incubus muppet: whatever happened to the old chestnuts of financial destitution, lovelessness, cancer, infant mortality and the bomb?
We all need a break.
Friday night we register our protest at #peakdrivel by running screaming from our houses in pantyhose and fishermen’s cable-knits, wrapping the entire interior of the Table on Ten in newspaper and inviting Nate Smith and Sophie Kamin (from Bar Bolinas and Allswell) and Emily Elsen (from Four and Twenty Blackbirds) to man the existential barricades alongside Inez in a steadfast one-night cookathon which will employ every last scrap of vegetation remaining in Delaware County. Star Route, Berry Brook, Burnetts and Hellers will be rendered desolate wastelands. Further supplies will be pillaged from Key Training Farm, Cowbella, Bovina Valley, Greenane and Marguerite, along with the rude knobbly bits from fridges, shelves, sides of the road, Ollie’s matted flanks and the trunk of the Subaru. Scorched earth harvesting. What’ll remain when we’re done is rocks, stumps and grubby-handled toddler’s pull-toys, each missing a wheel.
No tickets, no invitations, tastings or pairings. No french linen sheets repurposed as tablecloths or backwoods banjo-string-quartets. You don’t have to simper like a poodle or prance like a dressage-pony.
No need to hashtag, like, follow, lie, cheat, namaste or lol. Neither to choreograph kittens or petals, crush persimmons, nor scatter ground-cherries onto beds of milkweed fluff. Leave your prohibition-era assless chaps, pomade and rolled-up cap-sleeves at home, there’ll be no biblical ram-slaughter. Hell, you could even contrive to forget your iPhone.
Call us up to tell us you’re coming, then come. Or swing by. Like any other pizza night.
The only difference is the whole damn menu.
And no pizza.
Chewin’ the Cud with Nate, Emily, Sophie and Inez
Friday 4th November, Table on Ten, 6 to 9
Menu will Quite Probably Include
SOFT BOILED EGG – $5
spruce aioli, garlic chives, tarragon
URSULA KALE AND APPLE SALAD – $12
Alderney cheese, armagnac prunes
WINTER CHOPPED SALAD – $10
beets, cabbage, celeriac, cumin koji maple dressing, cilantro, mint
CAST IRON SOURDOUGH WITH PRESERVED TOMATOES – $10
ROASTED VEGETABLES WITH RED MOLE (the sauce, not the insectivore) – $12
potatoes, cardoons, turnips
SPICED LENTILS AND NETTLES – $10
tomatoes, yogurt, mint
ROASTED BROCCOLI RABE – $12
TAMARIND PORK – $18
Cortland onions, pickled peppers
SALTED CARAMEL APPLE MINI-PIES – $7
maple syrup, fresh frozen yogurt, bee pollen
bring your own children and cigarettes
November 2, 2016. Posted in Events, Inspirers, Producers, The Menu, Underpants. Tags: Allswell, Bar Bolinas, Berry Brook Farm, Bovina Valley Farm, Burnett Farms, Cowbella, Emily Elsen, Four & Twenty Blackbirds, Greenane Farm, Inez Valk, Key Training Farm, Marguerite Uhlmann-Bower, Nate Smith, Ollie the Dog, Sophie Kamin, Star Route Farm, Thomas Hobbes.
In the pit of La Scala, Puccini,
Conducted Boheme with zucchini,
“Believe it or not,
I did Turandot
With bananas, two leeks and my weenie.”
Joining a CSA does not make you a Communist. It helps farmers. More importantly, it burnishes your upstate foodie-hipster credentials. Three weeks of picking up your own mibuna and you’ll be painting your cabin Farrow & Ball Off Black, drinking half-wild cider from a wine glass and calling meat protein. Communists are welcome.
The 607 CSA is a collaboration between the twin pillars of Table on Ten’s vegetable underbelly – Star Route and Berry Brook Farms. Basically, instead of us all meandering round in our Subarus week in, week out, burning up Saudi oil, abetting terrorists and crucifiers in the name of vegetables for our respective tables … we commit to either a Summer Full or Summer Half share in the seasonal bounty of these two local farms. Once a week our waxed boxes will await us at one of six convenient locations. There’ll be all sorts of stuff poking out, most of which we’ll know what to do with. The bits we don’t will serve as springboards for our culinary imaginations and French tempered steel skillets. Then there’s pesto. One stop shopping and the Big Door Prize every week. It’s not Communism: but there’s enough of a whiff of Socialist Realist lady-biceps about it to make us feel momentarily less effete. And it really helps with what’s going on.
Furthermore. If you’re not exclusively herbivorous there are all sorts of modular add-ons available to supplement the basic weekly ration; from the likes of Bovina Valley, Stony Creek, Painted Goat, L’ouvriere, Stone & Thistle, Township Valley, Lucky Dog, Farmhand Flowers, Mauer’s Mountain, Greenane, Nectar Hills, Tay Tea, Kitchen Garden, Cowbella, Flaca Vaca, Treadlight, Big Ash. Meat, poultry, milk, cheese, yogurt, flowers, honey, herbs. Even candles. If you’ve got shelter, matches, cigarettes and tequila, you’re basically set.
Table on Ten is one of six locations you can swing by and grab your share. Pickup time is cannily scheduled between 6 and 9 pm on a Friday evening. Ring any bells? That’s also when we’re open, serving pizza. You can hit-and-run or cool your heels, have a bite to eat, glass of wine. See what we did with the same stuff that’s in your box. Other locations are strategically situated around Delaware County so as to undermine the ‘oh, but that’s miles from where I live’ defence.
Bloomville | Table on Ten | FRIDAY | 6-10pm
Bovina | Brushland Eating | FRIDAY | 6-10pm
Charlotteville | Star Route Farm | FRIDAY & SATURDAY | 1-5pm
Delhi | Delhi Farmer’s Market | WEDNESDAY | 9am-2pm
Hobart | Flaca Vaca | SATURDAY | 10am-4pm
Oneonta | b side ballroom | FRIDAY | 6-10
The deal? It’s vulgar to talk money in public. It’s good though.
May 22, 2016. Posted in Inspirers, Producers. Tags: 607CSA, Berry Brook Farm, Big Ash Farmstead, Bovina Valley Farms, Cowbella, Farmhand Flowers, Farrow & Ball, Flaca Vaca, Grenade Farms, Kitchen Garden Farm, L'Ouvriere, Lucky Dog, Mauer's Mountain Farm, Nectar Hills Farm, Painted Goat, Star Route Farm, Stone & Thistle, Stony Creek Farmstead, Tay Tea, Tianna, Township Valley Farm, Treadlight Farm, Walter Riesen.
Sunday October 11th – 6 to 9.
(The Night Before Columbus Day)
‘In short, whoever you may be,
To this conclusion you’ll agree,
When everyone is somebody,
Then no-one’s anybody.’
In honor of the descending thermometer, Table on Ten will be pulling on its Bon Appétit-era woolly knee-socks and making savory pie for the masses.
Sunday dinner at Table on Ten; a menu expertly formulated to fortify the citizens of Delaware County against the leading edge of Autumn. Insulation for the ribs. Weather-stripping for the soul.
PIE ‘N MASH NIGHT 2 – THE DEEP BRAISE
Warm Leek and Turnip Vichyssoise with Ripped Croutons, Olive Oil, Peperoncino
3 SHADES OF SAVOURY PIE WITH
• Guinea Hen, Smoked Pork Butt, Leek, Thyme, Hen Stock
• Shepherd’s Cottage Pie a la Table with Shaved Lamb and Beef, Spicy Greens
• Goodwill Pie with Parsnips, Beets, Winter Greens, Sweet Potatoes, Leeks and Cider Gravy
EACH ON A BED OF
• Buttery, Creamy, Leekie, Squashy Mashed Potatoes
• Two Special Salads, One Leafy, One Munchy
WASHED DOWN WITH
• Hearty Beer and Cider
• Effete Wine
• Unique Non-Pie Dessert Collaboration with Four & Twenty Blackbirds
• The Collected Works of Gilbert & Sullivan
• Pie Movie
ALL MAIN INGREDIENTS SOURCED LOCALLY FROM
Mauer’s Mountain, Star Route, Burnett Farms, Bovina Valley, Berry Brook, Greenane Farm, Township Valley, Cowbella, Evans & Evans.
Call for reservations to make our life easier – 607 643 6509
Put down that last stacked log, climb out of your Carhartts and come on over anyway.
Sunday 11th October, 6 to 9
Sheepdogs, horses, pitchforks and weapons checked at the door.
October 6, 2015. Posted in Events, Producers, Recipes, The Menu. Tags: Berry Brook Farm, Bon Appétit, Bovina Valley Farm, Burnett Farms, Columbus Day, Cowbella, Evans & Evans Farm, Four & Twenty Blackbirds, Gilbert & Sullivan, Greenane Farm, Mauer's Mountain Farm, Pie 'n Mash, Star Route Farm.
January 17, 2015. Posted in Events, Inspirers, Press, Producers. Tags: Alice Gao, Byebrook Farm, Cheryl Lins, Conde Nast Traveller UK, Corinne Brovetto, Cowbella, Daisy Mason, Dan Marsiglio, Danforth Jersey Farm, Delaware Phoenix Distillery, Flaca Vaca Farm, Francesca Segal, Gwen Deysenroth, Harney & Sons, Harpersfield Cheese, Justus Kempthorne, Kate Marsiglio, Lucky Dog Farm, Marguerite Uhlmann-Bower, Michael Milton, Paul Deysenroth, Prohibition Distillery, Robert Bollinger, Shannon Mason, Simon Martinez, Stony Creek Farmstead, Turquoise Barn.
Now the leaves are falling fast,
Nurse’s flowers will not last;
Nurses to the graves are gone,
And the prams go rolling on.
Someone told us, a couple of years ago, that summer ends on the last day of the Delaware County Fair. That elegantly shaved Holsteins are ushered into trucks even as the beeches begin to drip with browns and duns. Well, not in 2013. This year the Gods of Summer looked kindly on us, easing apart the parentheses of the season to accommodate the remainder of August and much of September, allowing schoolchildren to return to their lessons still sporting chestnut knees. But there’s no stemming the march of time. The chill is in the wings, like an attendant servant waiting to come on and announce ‘the Queen, my lord, is dead’.
Now friends come through the front door briskly, shutting it behind them. Ice-cream sandwiches linger longer in the refrigerator. And the first glimpses of a conversation that will punctuate the coming months like a thousand commas – how to stay warm – are sighted at the register.
But the turning of the seasons affords new opportunities: to break out that Harris tweed hacking jacket and deerstalker, mothballed from an unlucky May; to twist the menu between finger and thumb, ushering in items that warm the belly and bolster a sense of community. It’s time for Soup. To roll in at lunchtime, pull up a chair, a hunk of baguette and mop up something that distills the goodness of its ingredients into a restorative and sticks sweetly to the ribs.
First up: New Brushland Clam Chowder (with Cowbella Croutons)
2 lbs or so fresh chowder clams (these don’t need to be fancy)
1 cup Star Route Farm creamy potatoes, peeled or not, cubed
2 teaspoons Cowbella butter
3 good slices Catskill Food Company bacon, cut crosswise into small pieces
1 Lucky Dog onion or 2 shallots, diced fine
2 or 3 garden thyme sprigs, stripped
1 Burnett Farms celery stalk, diced fine (we wonder if a palmful of grated celeriac would do the same thing; we haven’t tried)
A little salt (careful, clams are salty)
Fresh cracked black pepper
1 cup Crystal Valley milk
Half a cup of cream
Ripped Table on Ten bread and Cowbella butter for croutons
Put the clams in a heavy pot with 3/4 cup of water. Cook on medium-high until they open. Let them cool (scalded fingers) before removing them from their shells and chopping (or not chopping if they are small). Strain the broth through cheesecloth or a clean tea-towel (more on that in late November) and store the clams in the broth to avoid them drying out. Cook the cubed potatoes in salted boiling water until nearly done, set aside. Melt the butter, fry the bacon pieces till just short of crisp, set aside. In the same buttery/bacony skillet, gently cook the onions and thyme for a few minutes before adding the celery. Continue to cook till the mixture is soft and golden. Season with pepper and (easy, there) salt. Transfer to a saucepan, add the potatoes and bacon, cook briefly. Add the clams and their broth, boil then simmer for a couple of minutes until the potatoes are soft. Add the milk and cream, bring up to heat but don’t boil. That’s it.
The buttery croutons are easy. Melt butter, add rough, big hunks of crustless bread, spin ’em round a few times, bake in the oven till done.
Cold, impossible, ahead
Lifts the mountain’s lovely head
Whose white waterfall could bless
Travellers in their last distress.
September 19, 2013. Posted in Producers, Recipes, The Menu. Tags: Burnett Farms, Catskill Food Company, Cowbella, Crystal Valley Farm, Delaware County Fair, Lucky Dog Farm, New Brushland Clam Chowder, Special Soups, Star Route Farms, W.H. Auden.