Open | Closed | Open | Closed | Closed | Open

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It’s that time of year. And it came like some an arctic lemur, with a scalpel of ice in its tail.

Hours for the holiday season are as follows:

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Thursday 22nd – 9 to 3 

Friday 23rd – 9 to 3 and 6 to 9 (pizza night)

Saturday 24th (Christmas Eve) – 9 to 3 but NO PIZZA NIGHT

Sunday 25th (Christmas Day) – CLOSED

Monday 26th to Wednesday 28th – closed as usual

Thursday 29th – 9 to 3

Friday 30th – 9 to 3 and 6 to 9 (final pizza night of 2016)

Saturday 31st (New Year’s Eve) – 9 to 3 but NO PIZZA NIGHT

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From 1st January 2017 till March 2nd, Table on Ten will be closed while the staff scour the cosmos for good stuff and inspiration. We’ll be back for show-and-tell at the first hint of thaw, tails quivering like bunnies.

Brrr. Put a second pair of socks on.  And The Clash’s Sandinista! or Wire’s Pink Flag. That’ll do it.

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Life Preservers Available | Whole Pies for the Holidays | 4 and | 20

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Hand-made by Gowanus Elves

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• salted caramel apple

• black bottom pumpkin

• buttermilk chess

• chocolate pecan

• salty honey

• black bottom oat

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$35

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607 832 4538 or inez@tableonten.com to reserve

We”ll be open specially from 6 to 7 on Wednesday evening (23rd) for pickup of reserved pies and maybe a glass of wine.

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Nate Smith | Emily Elsen | Sophie Kamin | Inez Valk | Burning Down the House

English polemicist Hobbes,
Took to bigamy in between jobs,
“I’d do less perspiring
And much more inspiring
If I had me four balls and two knobs.”

We’ve reached that bloodshot, coke-addled point in the political polemic when the Carnival of Assholes has become functionally unbearable. Last night the hours between 2.30 and 4.15 were spent gazing at the ceiling like Munch’s The Scream, sleeplessly contemplating the horror of being governed by a giant, bloated incubus muppet: whatever happened to the old chestnuts of financial destitution, lovelessness, cancer, infant mortality and the bomb?

We all need a break.

Friday night we register our protest at #peakdrivel by running screaming from our houses in pantyhose and fishermen’s cable-knits, wrapping the entire interior of the Table on Ten in newspaper and inviting Nate Smith and Sophie Kamin (from Bar Bolinas and Allswell) and Emily Elsen (from Four and Twenty Blackbirds) to man the existential barricades alongside Inez in a steadfast one-night cookathon which will employ every last scrap of vegetation remaining in Delaware County. Star Route, Berry Brook, Burnetts and Hellers will be rendered desolate wastelands. Further supplies will be pillaged from Key Training Farm, Cowbella, Bovina Valley, Greenane and Marguerite, along with the rude knobbly bits from fridges, shelves, sides of the road, Ollie’s matted flanks and the trunk of the Subaru. Scorched earth harvesting. What’ll remain when we’re done is rocks, stumps and grubby-handled toddler’s pull-toys, each missing a wheel.

No tickets, no invitations, tastings or pairings. No french linen sheets repurposed as tablecloths or backwoods banjo-string-quartets. You don’t have to simper like a poodle or prance like a dressage-pony.

No need to hashtag, like, follow, lie, cheat, namaste or lol. Neither to choreograph kittens or petals, crush persimmons, nor scatter ground-cherries onto beds of milkweed fluff. Leave your prohibition-era assless chaps, pomade and rolled-up cap-sleeves at home, there’ll be no biblical ram-slaughter. Hell, you could even contrive to forget your iPhone.

Call us up to tell us you’re coming, then come. Or swing by. Like any other pizza night.

The only difference is the whole damn menu.

And no pizza.

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Chewin’ the Cud with Nate, Emily, Sophie and Inez

Friday 4th November, Table on Ten, 6 to 9

Menu will Quite Probably Include 

SOFT BOILED EGG –  $5
spruce aioli, garlic chives, tarragon

URSULA KALE AND APPLE SALAD – $12
Alderney cheese, armagnac prunes

WINTER CHOPPED SALAD – $10
beets, cabbage, celeriac, cumin koji maple dressing, cilantro, mint

CAST IRON SOURDOUGH WITH PRESERVED TOMATOES – $10

ROASTED VEGETABLES WITH RED MOLE (the sauce, not the insectivore) – $12
potatoes, cardoons, turnips

SPICED LENTILS AND NETTLES – $10
tomatoes, yogurt, mint

ROASTED BROCCOLI RABE – $12
almonds, Cotija

TAMARIND PORK – $18
Cortland onions, pickled peppers

SALTED CARAMEL APPLE MINI-PIES – $7
maple syrup, fresh frozen yogurt, bee pollen

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wine

beer

prayer

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bring your own children and cigarettes

Lyme Workshop at Table | Latest Frontier in the War on Terror

A tiny squid from Pellestrina: deer ticks are uglier
A tiny squid from Pellestrina: deer ticks are uglier

Sunday 23rd of October, 1 till 3 at Table on Ten

UPDATE ON LYME with MARGUERITE UHLMANN-BOWER

PREPARE FOR NEXT YEAR

HOW ABOUT THIS WINTER?

$10 Donation

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The following questions may or may not be addressed;

• what is it?

• why’s it here?

• as if I didn’t have enough to worry about?

• I feel like an over-caffeinated zombie, blundering through life embalmed in kleenex wearing oven-mitts. I can hardly form words. Have I got it?

• or is that just Delaware County on a Tuesday afternoon?

• if I’ve got it, what can I do about it?

• if I haven’t got it, what can I do to keep not having it?

• if I have a fear of not missing out, what can I do to get it?

• my dog looks like an over-caffeinated zombie and she’s wearing oven-mitts. Has she got it?

• same with my kids.

• does it look good on Instagram?

• was it dropped by the government to eat the flies that ate the tent caterpillars?

• what the fuck?

• is it just some upstate Brooklyn badge-of-honor thing, like looking maybe to build a cabin on some land?

• or burying a pig?

• if I found it crawling in my butt-crack, which friend would I call to come take it out?

• if I drink colloidal silver will I be able to join Blue Man Group?

• is it married?

• is it one of the 207 Greatest Insects in the World?

• is it allergic to cheap brandy in large quantities?

• can I use this as a defense against a DUI?

• can it be pickled to garnish a salad of shiso-fermented turnip greens?

• would it help if my pants were tighter? I’m not sure that’s possible, just asking.

• did the immigrants do it?

• I haven’t seen my genitals in half a decade, how am I supposed to spot a comma crawling across the folds of my back under six layers of Spanx?

• if we opened on a Sunday night, would it come and eat pizza?

• is this the first time it’s been kind of useful that I’m bald?

• will it make America great again?

• if I set up a long table in a field on an evening with candles and wine and crucified sheep, would everybody who attends get it?

• there’s an insect in Africa whose life-cycle involves burrowing into the eyes of children and blinding them by eating its way out. Explain this in terms of a benign, omniscient God.

• is it allergic to pomade?

• did you just fart?

• Jesus, at the dinner table?

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Delco Bell | Making America Mexico Again

Never let it be said that Table on Ten doesn’t shred the gnarlacious curl of the zeitgeist.

Pickled beet stems and caper buds. Cold brew, bacon, PG Tips, wine in mason jars, artisanal sriracha, bone broth, foraged this, foraged that. So much shredded kale you started to look like a brassica. Ramps. Kimchee workshop. Ironic Ass Beer.

Pull out your sauvecito pomade and your Mayan sun print bikini. We’re going mondo Mexican.

And in case you think we’re just another bunch of hipster Juanny-come-latelies, plundering some flavour-of-the-month food fetish, whereby stuff everybody’s been tossing on the BBQ for decades is now serious eats because we’re pronouncing it in Yucatan dialect and cooking it with flame … well, we want you to know we were at Coqui Coqui when it was just us, Heidi Klum and some campesinos raking seaweed off the beach. And while the Tuluminati were perfecting their Bharadvajasana at Bikini Boot Camp, we were blazing pioneer trails through the jungle in a 4-Runner with really shoddy a/c. An hour-and-a-bit to Valladolid, past poorly signposted cenotes and cut-throat snorkel traders, elbowing aside Instagram zombies to score Spiderman underpants from authentic artisans. Hey, we climbed that pyramid at Chichen Itza too, and Caleb lost his sarong! And barely made it back in time for whole-animal Grouper Ceviche de Wahoo and Dash Berlin’s set at Gitano. ‘La Pura Vida, muchacha!’ Wait, was that Costa Rica?

The 'Real' Mexico
The ‘Real’ Mexico

Saturday 6th of August  – 12 till 3 and 6 till 9 

Table on Ten and The Pines present:

¡ TACOS EL SABADO !

Featuring – 

La Pared Hermosa (Carne Asada) – Greenane Farm flank steak, chilis, garlic, lime

El Donaldo (Cochinita Pibil) – slow-cooked Home Grown Farmstead pork, sour oranges, garlic

Las Pequeñas Manos (Pollo en Mole) – blind mole on a stick. Or Key Farm chicken in mole sauce

La Melania (Vegetariano) – roasted Star Route cauliflower, beans, Bovina Valley cotija

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Tortillas de Asesino – hand-made with masa from Trevor Wilson’s local yellow heirloom corn

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Elotes del Extranjero Indocumentado – charred local first corn with butter, cotija and lime

Ensalada de Siete Cárteles – black lentils, avocado, pickled peas, arugula, honey, cotija

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Salsa Verde

Salsa Rojo

Salsa de Soplete Esteban – Burnett’s gizzard-searing smoked maple tomatillo sorcery

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Torta de Cuatro y Veinte – chocolate chili from Brooklyn with Table dulce de leche ice cream 

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Cervezas Mexicanas

Vino Francés e Italiano

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And there you have it! Grab your sombrero, your crossed ammunition belts and assless chaps, head over to La Casa de la Risa in downtown Pueblo Floración. The oil-tank grill will be roaring, there’ll be plastic party banners in the trees and mariachi in the air. But get there quick, before the Albondigas have turned to Pho and the mezcal back to bourbon.

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Saturday 6th of August 12 till 3 and 6 till 9 

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Sunday Afternoon Matinee | Bucket of Weed Chips and a Supersize Turmeric Tonic | Please

Let it never be said Table on Ten is just about stuffing your face.

We’ve been nicely stuffing your ears with John Houshmand for quite some time. Stuffing your eyes with classic movies on the stone wall on pizza nights. We’ve stuffed your noses with chicken leek and bacon pot pies and trays of freshly-baked granola. Your hands with custom plastic fly-swatters.

Now we’re going to stuff your minds.

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WEEDEATER  •  A Film by Eden Batki + Marty Windahl + Amy von Harrington

FORAGING THROUGH THE AMAZING WORLD OF NANCE KLEHM

Sunday 10th July at 1 pm | Table on Ten | $5

Now bear in mind, we know a thing or two about foraging. We’ve been out in the backyard with Marguerite Uhlmann-Bower more than once. Remember nettle balls? What about spruce tip soda? Ollie the Dog can spend hours chewing on a locally foraged piece of gravel. And one or other of us can frequently be found foraging a pack of Camel Lights and $1 lighter at the Mirabito in Hobart.

But we are minnows compared to Nance Klehm. Nance is a foraging tuna. She’s more than that. She’s …

… a self-described ‘steward of the earth’. She is an ecological systems designer, a permacultural grower, a horticultural consultant and a talented and much sought after teacher and speaker. She is respected internationally for her work on land politics and growing for fertility. Meeting her for the first time feels as though you are catching her mid-sentence and mid-stride.

Weedeater trots alongside Nance through various landscapes, gathering together a collection of her thoughts and philosophies on everything from wild, uncultivated weeds to human waste composting to ‘the dark cosmos’ soil.  An accurate portrait of Klehm would be impossible to confine to a formal or traditional documentary narrative. Instead, Weedeater attempts to sketch Klehm’s character as well as reflect the depth and complexity of her intimate relationship with the earth and all its inhabitants, in the unique and intimate structure and style of this experimental film.  

Like we said, Sunday 10th July at 1 pm | Table on Ten | $5

Come by bike. Come by Car. Come by Astral Projection. Have a bite of lunch, a glass of wine. Do the things you can’t usually do in a movie-theatre (within reason).

Filmmaker Eden Batki will be with us, so we’ll have lots of questions and – for once – somebody armed with answers.

Please come. You can let us know by email or on 607-643 6509

Or just turn up. We’d love to see you.

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Dial P for Bloody Pizza | Table on Bloody Ten Extended Bloody Hours | Bloody Slave Drivers

‘The British are going! The British are going!”

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Welcome to Independence Day weekend. The one where we celebrate severing ties with a tiny, obscure island off the coast of Europe, known for warm beer, pre-masticated peas and blaming other people for their problems. Being something of a tiny landlocked island ourselves – Delaware County – we thought we could perhaps garner a spot of lost wisdom from our plucky ancestors over the sea: their rabid adherence to cultural homogeneity, quaint policeman’s costumes, groups of men in ladies’  clothes dancing around poles with sticks in their hands and bells on their feet. Their dogged resolve in the face of dentistry. But most importantly; their prodigious capacity for moaning.

To that end, we will be setting up Table on Ten noticeboards, each with a single word at the top:

BLOODY

In a basket underneath will be a selection of commonly-used suffixes, which participants will be encouraged to place underneath to form a familiar British phrase.

FOREIGNERS
EUROPEANS
GOVERNMENT
IMMIGRANTS
UNELECTED PLUTOCRATS
WEATHER
TRAFFIC
KRAUTS
TRAINS
BUSES
RACKET
NEIGHBOURS
SUMMER
WINTER
MUSLIMS
HOOLIGANS
ENGLAND FOOTBALL TEAM
TAXES
RAIN
ANGELA MERKEL
FROGS
COST OF A PINT
COST OF CIGARETTES
LABOUR
TORIES
WIFE
KIDS
IRISH
JOCKS
YANKS
BUGGERS
MOTHER-IN-LAW
ROONEY
COLD
DAMP
JOB
NO JOB
STUDENTS
WANKERS
SCROUNGERS
HELL
MURDER
GYPSIES
ICELAND

Participants will be asked to read their phrase out loud, to be repeated by the congregation. Once all initial phrases are exhausted, we will ask for contributions; thus facilitating a hands-on, Internationalist, cross-platform, multi-media, son et lumière, interactive experience, rivaling Mount Tremper’s World’s Largest Kaleidoscope. And a brief insight on how grim it can be to be British.

To afford maximum participation in this rich cultural exchange, Table on Ten will be extending its weekend opening hours to include:

ADDITIONAL PIZZA NIGHT ON SUNDAY 3rd and ADDITIONAL BREAKFAST AND LUNCH ON MONDAY 4th

So to be clear:

Thursday 30th – 9 to 3

Friday 1st – 9 to 3 then 6 to 9 (Pizza Night I)

Saturday 2nd – 9 to 3 then 6 to 9 (Pizza Night II)

Sunday 3rd – 9 to 3 then 6 to 9 (Pizza Night III)

Monday 4th – 9 to 3

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Hope to see you here. Toodle-bloody-pip.