‘The British are going! The British are going!”
Welcome to Independence Day weekend. The one where we celebrate severing ties with a tiny, obscure island off the coast of Europe, known for warm beer, pre-masticated peas and blaming other people for their problems. Being something of a tiny landlocked island ourselves – Delaware County – we thought we could perhaps garner a spot of lost wisdom from our plucky ancestors over the sea: their rabid adherence to cultural homogeneity, quaint policeman’s costumes, groups of men in ladies’ clothes dancing around poles with sticks in their hands and bells on their feet. Their dogged resolve in the face of dentistry. But most importantly; their prodigious capacity for moaning.
To that end, we will be setting up Table on Ten noticeboards, each with a single word at the top:
In a basket underneath will be a selection of commonly-used suffixes, which participants will be encouraged to place underneath to form a familiar British phrase.
ENGLAND FOOTBALL TEAM
COST OF A PINT
COST OF CIGARETTES
Participants will be asked to read their phrase out loud, to be repeated by the congregation. Once all initial phrases are exhausted, we will ask for contributions; thus facilitating a hands-on, Internationalist, cross-platform, multi-media, son et lumière, interactive experience, rivaling Mount Tremper’s World’s Largest Kaleidoscope. And a brief insight on how grim it can be to be British.
To afford maximum participation in this rich cultural exchange, Table on Ten will be extending its weekend opening hours to include:
ADDITIONAL PIZZA NIGHT ON SUNDAY 3rd and ADDITIONAL BREAKFAST AND LUNCH ON MONDAY 4th
So to be clear:
Thursday 30th – 9 to 3
Friday 1st – 9 to 3 then 6 to 9 (Pizza Night I)
Saturday 2nd – 9 to 3 then 6 to 9 (Pizza Night II)
Sunday 3rd – 9 to 3 then 6 to 9 (Pizza Night III)
Monday 4th – 9 to 3
Hope to see you here. Toodle-bloody-pip.